Am I the only one that gets so upset by this?? When it was happening to me, I was prepared to wallow alone in my misery because I am a loser and can’t do anything right, and every other person in society must know better than me.
But now I see it happening to other gals, and that’s what gets me really lit up – because I know exactly how they are feeling and, being a bit more removed, I can analyze the situation a little better and I really do not understand why most people say the things that they say.
Thing #1: when everyone around you decides it is their mission to continually state how much the baby looks like dad. Why? Is it really that surprising that you can’t contain yourself? Like, to me this only evoked two thoughts in response – oh, Thank you so much for acknowledging the 9 months of effort that I put into carrying this baby around, sacrificing my body, and the 24 hour shifts I’m putting in now. I guess I really look so bad that you don’t even want to look at me, because otherwise you would see how much this baby looks like ME (for the record – of course there are a lot of similarities between my son and my husband, but he doesn’t LOOK EXACTLY LIKE HIM! not now and not in his baby pictures. But my soon does look a lot like my baby pictures. Yet I don’t really care to bring out photo evidence to these people that clearly know nothing. But I wanted to see what everyone else was seeing – so I would ask people – how so, what makes you think that, please show me… And one time when someone in the group exclaimed how similar my boys are, there was a really snooty comment from the crowd: oh, don’t say that around HER, she doesn’t like that! Which upset me 10 times more and kind of ties into my next point)
The other response that always comes up in my mind is – why is it so surprising that my son looks like my husband? Babies look like their parents… Do you think that I sleep around and this was a happy coincidence that my husband is the father???
I really don’t get it… The sole statement that a child looks like their parent.. I mean – either add in that he is Soooo good looking and looks just like his parents, or something.. What’s the point of just stating the obvious? I don’t go around telling you you’ve got 2 arms… You know what I mean?
And thing #2: babies and solid foods. Why is it that everyone is suddenly an expert? Sure maybe you have a baby of your own, but all of them are different. I don’t need you to question when or how or what I’m introducing… And in what order and at what age.. Every mom has a pediatrician to consult with.. And if you aren’t that, and she didn’t ask you for your opinion – then shut up and respect her parenting methods!! For a while I didn’t feel comfortable giving my child real food to chew (besides special baby things that quickly melt in the mouth) and that was my choice. So when someone questioned that, asked me why I don’t give him crackers/bread because (get this!) their neighbor baby (who is 2-3 months older) is eating whole slices of bread – I was ready to lose it!!!
I know babies that are eating all kinds of things from 4 months, and babies who are eating barely anything at 10 months and choking.. What’s it to the common bystander? Do you remember what you ate and when in your first year of age? I don’t think so. Clearly it doesn’t matter that much. Why not commend a mother for her efforts because you can’t fully imagine what it’s like to be completely responsible for another person that can’t clearly communicate so you have to be able to predict what he wants and when, but you’re guessing it must be rather difficult?
That’s all. For today. Thank you
Again, thankfully – I’m past thing 2, and don’t care much about thing 1. And for the moms out there – I know it’s hard. Some random person’s comment can truly send you into a panic and make you question everything. “oh your baby is so skinny/chubby!” and suddenly you’re questioning if you are feeding him right…
I hate being negative on any topic concerning kidd and people showing attention and being involved. But sometimes I just have one of those hormone swings or something and I’m ready to explode.
My bottom line is: moms, don’t sweat! And if you do question something – ask a professional, not Google! And everyone else – if you don’t have something really nice and heartfelt to say to a mom – do you really need to say it?